


Hollow Hearts and Empty Hopes

by InsomniacPiggy



Series: The Aftermath [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, No Fluff, Post-Movie, all relationships implied - Freeform, could be seen as gen, ish, one of these days i will write dialogue, rey is very angry and luke is very tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 22:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7380661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacPiggy/pseuds/InsomniacPiggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey is searching for a hero to teach her.</p>
<p>She is not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollow Hearts and Empty Hopes

Rey is running. She’s been running for a long time, longer than she likes to admit. At first, it was metaphorically, running from the idea that she was all alone. Now she runs physically, being chased across star systems by stormtroopers and TIE-fighters and star destroyers and Sith who get in her mind and under her skin and leave her clawing at invisible wounds in the middle of the night. She is running from death, flirting with the rush of adrenaline of being in freefall.

She is running toward the shadow of a great man- _a hero_ , she hears whispered around the Rebel base, enough that it repeats in her dreams of lush, green forests and has her wonder at the tales swapped at meals.

( _where was he, we needed him_ , she learns to avoid, knowing that a heart that condemns a teacher is not one that will learn.

But beneath her heart, in that hollow that never quite healed around the loneliness and fear she lived with for years, she knows she will judge him a coward one day. Maybe not today, or the next, but the glamour will wear out, and she will remember all the truths about him.

She does not forget that though this hero claimed to win the war, Finn was still forced into a life of servitude to a dictatorship, with no value of his own life, assigned a number for a name. She does not forget that Poe was brought up in a Rebel family, raised in an invisible war, destined to be a pilot from the day his parents told him of the war they’d fought in.

She doesn’t forget, but she can put it aside long enough to learn from this man.)

She needs this man, she needs a way to save all these people she’s met ( _FinnPoeBB8Chewie ~~Han~~ GeneralOrgana_) and goddamnit she will fight till her last breath for these people. Maybe even past that if General Organa’s stories about _Force Ghosts_ are true.

And she needs someone who can teach her how to fight. She doesn’t give a shit about becoming a long lost mystic warrior, she cares about protecting her people, knocking the smirk off of that smug Sith who thought he could hurt _her_ friends, violate _her_ mind and get away it.

Because at the end of the day, she did not survive a ruthless, dry, dead desert planet by being _nice_ or _good_. She’s a survivor, and she’s not afraid to fight dirty. She doesn’t have the rough taste of sand in her mouth, but she can still fight as brutally and ruthlessly as any desert rat.

So this hero better teach her how to fight, how to destroy her enemies so they can’t come back to hurt her. If not, she’ll figure it out herself, even if it kills her.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey’s... disappointed.

What greets her at the water planet- by god, she didn’t think that much water existed in the galaxy- is not a legendary hero, or a rugged, scarred veteran, or even a mystic monk who would preach about serenity and balance.

Instead she gets a tired old man living in a stone shack reminiscent of the homes of moisture farmers on Jakku. Everything about him screams exhaustion and guilt, but she still has hope that this is the man who can help her save her family, and maybe help a few others if she can.

She needs this man to get stronger, so she fumbles for her— _his_ —lightsaber, knowing that the hero that everyone whispered about at the base would strengthen at the sight of it. She’s been through so much, she doesn’t need this wreck of a man to add his problems to the weight on her shoulders.

She was sure that when he held it, he would transform into that infallible hero. She believed because she needed him to be.

And like a nightmare, as she held out the hilt of the lightsaber to him, his defensive and flinty posture dissolved, and she could see the bright light of anger go out. He slumped over, growing older and smaller before her very eyes. Instead of growing, this pathetic man _shattered_. He was afraid, and a person can’t learn to fight from someone who jumps at shadows of their past.

Her stomach sank, even after he eventually took the lightsaber, after he gave her food and shelter. Her stomach had turned to stone by the time he offered to teach her, and it took every ounce of self control to say yes to him without punching him.

When he looked at her with hope in his heart, knowing he had picked her to be his savior, she had to grit her teeth to stop from screaming, enough that she thought they might shatter like glass. She did not need nor want this man’s hopes, and she would not exist for him to live out his failed dreams.

She never thought that she would miss the feeling of sand in her teeth- but here she is. And here he is.

_Coward, coward_ , the hollow beneath her heart whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I didn't mean to be so mean to Luke, it just sorta wrote itself. I do love Luke, I just think the self imposed exile was a dick move to everyone he knew.
> 
> Rey is just very angry with all that's happened, and I imagine she'd be pretty unimpressed with someone who's stuck on the past. I mean, if I was in her position, I'd be pretty pissed too. 
> 
> (Hopefully this doesn't happen in the actual movies ;-;)
> 
> So! Love it? Hate it? Please tell me! I live off of feedback.


End file.
